I’m sorry to all my friends that I no longer talk to or talk to so infrequently that I couldn’t think of one thing going on in your life.
I am deeply sorry that even if we do talk on a semi-frequent basis that I still forget and don’t remember special days, events, plans.
The thing I am most sorry about is that amount of times I have to say no to you.
I know that a lot of you are getting tired of hearing/reading that I am busy but unfortunately it is true.
My life as a parent/adult is spend 80% on the go and 20% trying to recover.
Although I am only twenty-three years old, I have a lot going on all at once and it has diminished my social life. Though I love my life, it does get frustrating that I can’t see you and that you feel neglected.
The main reason that I can no longer see you as often as I like is because of my rambunctious three-year-old (almost four!) He is constantly on the go, he comes first and he is not afraid to remind me.
A little insider tip to those of my kid-less friends, kids rarely listen to their parents as well as they listen to others that are not related to them.
So even though on the rare occasion you see my boy act like an angel and entertain himself, it doesn’t happen quite like that when it’s just us.
It’s more like:
Jakob: “I want playdough, it’s my favorite.”
Me: “Okay, let’s play with playdough” *continues to take out all the playdough*
Jakob: “I don’t like playdough anymore, I want puzzles.” *Dumps out puzzles on floor*
Then continue this on repeat for the rest of the day with me following him around and ‘helping’ him clean up.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change this for the world. I would rather be in a completely messy house with my toddler, laughing and making memories than be anywhere else in this world but I still miss you dear friend.
I know that you don’t understand this or maybe you do but are frustrated, I just can’t go out when I please.
It’s not as simple as “just get a babysitter.” I can’t just pick a name out of the phone book and they come, (well I’m sure I could, but I would never do that.)
My son needs to be safe, well taken care of and I need someone I trust. If my regular babysitter isn’t available, I’m not going anywhere unfortunately.
Timing, sometimes you just have terrible timing and that isn’t your fault at all. It’s just the way the world works.
I need at least two days advanced notice to get things in order for a day out without my kid. There is a lot of preparation I need to go through in order to get out of the house. So when you call and say “Hey, want to do [insert outing here] at 6pm.” Please don’t get mad when I politely decline because I just can’t swing it.
In the event we do plan something, I may need to cancel. It could be for a million reasons but to name a few (yes, these have all happened.) Jakob is sick, I am sick, babysitter cancelled last-minute, I lost my shoes, my wallet ‘mysteriously’ ended up in the toilet, my debt card is ‘somehow’ broken in half or any other variation of chaos that erupts 2 minutes before I have to leave to meet you.
And trust me, I don’t take cancelling plans lightly, in the event one of the above happens, you can find me hiding in the bathroom crying because I am so frustrated but at the end of the day, he is my baby boy and I can’t do anything but love him to pieces.
I want to see you. I really do but between Jakob’s outings, programs, his school, my school, work, family time, etc. It can be too chaotic to schedule anything else in.
When all is said and done, I am so sorry for saying no to you even when nothing is going on. Because when nothing is going on, I just want to sit still, relax and forget about the million things I will need to do tomorrow.
So I ask you to understand why I don’t see you much and know that I love you dearly. Maybe I will get this time management down or find a way to see you more in the future but for now, things are in the air.
Some times you will call, text, Facebook whatever means of communication you attempt to contact me on and I won’t answer some times for days. Just know that it’s not because I don’t want to talk to you. It’s because I’m just too busy. I probably have a sick baby, or I am busy with my family or, the more likely is that I just need a break from technology.
Just know that when you decide to have kids, I will return the favor.