Posted in My thoughts

In loving memory…

Life is great and it is such a gift compared to the alternative.

When somebody passes away, everything comes into perfect vision, what you should have done, what you will miss, what you wish you had said.  It’s all over the place grief.

When someone passes away, we have a funeral where everyone says what they loved about them. We celebrate the life they lived and share the sadness that it’s over. We cry, we laugh. It’s  a very emotionally raw day of letting go of that loved one and putting them to rest.

For the first year or two, you visit the graveyard, you bring flowers or little gifts. You get together and memorilize the person you have all lost. You hold onto the grave stone as if it is the only thing that will keep that loved one close to you.

As time goes on, so do you.  The flowers at the grave wilt, not very many people visit anymore, there name stops coming up in conversations. Life.Just.Goes.On. and sometimes its hard. Very hard.

Sometimes close family members grieve for years rather than months and it hurts them that people move on so quickly. People will forget your loss.  The need to remember the person is placed in flowers, grave-side visits, tears and sorrow but even the most dedicated and heartbroken family members will move on eventually. Your life can’t end.

That’s not to say that we forget that loved one,  they are always there beside us. Their favourite flower will bring back memories, their favourite place or even a situation where they would know just what to say, will bring all the good memories in.

The act of moving on is not forgetting, it’s about being able to remember the good things about their life without falling apart into pieces at the mention of their name.

For the people I have lost and the loved ones of my friends and family that are no longer here, here’s to moving forward in our lives and keeping our loved ones memory alive in everything we do.

J Maxwell


Lover of words, culinary enthusiast, mom to an adorable 5 year old, and changing the world for the better one day at a time.

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